If you could spend time with anyone in the world, living or dead, who would it be? There have been so many amazing people that I can’t pick just one, and I bet you have the same difficulty as well. Also, I imagine that you would never think to pick yourself, why would you? You’re already spending time with yourself. Or are you?

There are so many distractions that take us away from ourselves. Only when something breaks down and we experience pain in some form, do we have the impetus to turn inward for a source of relief. Yet, most of us take the easy route out of that pain and search outside ourselves for distraction to escape the pain. Our culture rewards it. Expects it. Even teaches it through marketing campaigns for millions of products that promise to make our lives better—happier. These are temporary fixes and do not bring lasting happiness or fulfillment.

Gathering self-knowledge is the second step in the four-week Self Appeal® process. It is crucial. Similar to education of any kind, self-knowledge:

Eliminates fear
Removes prejudice
Opens your mind to real choice

This introspective exercise includes thinking about the pain or struggle point in your life, along with reflecting on why you act and react the way you do. The dichotomy is that turning inward, while promoting courage, also takes great courage.

So why would you want to do it?

First of all, we are born alone. We die alone. We are always truly alone.

Increasing self-knowledge, building the relationship with yourself, ensures you’ll be building the relationship with the one person who will never, ever leave your side. But, since we are social creatures and don’t want to think about always being alone, first and foremost:

Self-knowledge strengthens relationships

Self knowledge also:

Builds courage
Strengthens your body and mind
Liberates you from restrictive outdated thinking
Builds sustainable happiness and fulfillment

It’s only when you know yourself that you can communicate clearly to others what you need in relationships, business, and life in general. It’s only when you know yourself that you can truly know others. It’s only when you know yourself, that you’ll be able to receive from others all the joy of being in relationship.

Stay tuned for Susan's upcoming memoir, From Sex Appeal to Self Appeal, due out in 2013.

The One Person You Really Must Know